Navigating Stripper Burnout

Burnout happens to everyone at some point in their lives. It is the feeling of hopelessness, stress, exhaustion and lack of interest that can plague not only our jobs, but also our home lives and personal relationships. Burnout is not something to be ashamed of, however it is a huge warning sign that you need to listen to your body and mind and give both what they need - rest. The burnout we as dancers experience can truly be next level due to the highly emotionally and sexually charged nature of our work. Giving to others constantly through our words and actions can be immensely exhausting. Do not wear your burnout as a badge of honor. Taking care of yourself is the most important thing you can do. Let's dive into how we can recognize, avoid, and deal with burnout as it comes.

First off, I'd like to list some of the main symptoms of burnout at work:

1. Lack of motivation
2. Feeling drained and exhausted physically, emotionally and mentally
3. Being angry or negative when arriving at work
4. Feelings of anxiety and or sadness at work
5. Loss of focus while you're working

Of course, these are things we will inevitably experience from time to time, and that is completely normal. However, you know your body and mind better than anyone else, and you can tell when these feelings are becoming too severe to handle. Making sure that you are in touch with yourself mentally, emotionally and physically in this industry is of paramount importance. Shoving down your feelings and needs and overworking yourself will do much more harm than good in the long run. So, now that we know some of what to look for, how can we remedy these signs?

My first piece of advice is going to be what I like to call "buffer money". Essentially, it's my way of saying emergency funds. You'll hear it a lot from veteran strippers online and in the club. When times get tough for whatever reason, and you need a break, it is wise to already have 3-6 months' worth of expenses saved up. I understand that this sounds like and absolutely can be a daunting task in today's world. Working with a banker who is experienced in budgeting and savings goals can be an extremely helpful way to become more financially literate and start working toward building that buffer money account. Do your research on which banks are sex-work friendly as not all of them are. Asking around in your club can give you a good idea of what banks other dancers use without discrimination. Additionally, r/stripper on Reddit can be another great resource for finding what bank in your area might be right for you. I personally use US Bank and have never had any problems with sex-worker discrimination when opening or using my business banking accounts.

Strip Tip: When you feel inclined to bash yourself or feel guilty for needing and taking a day off, try turning that narrative around. Thank yourself for taking care of you, instead of forcing yourself to become overworked and more stressed.

Journaling can be an excellent way to express authentic feelings as well as take inventory of where you're at mentally and emotionally. This offers you a way to see if you're on a downward trending emotional spiral or if you're handling the clubs daily curve balls with ease. If you notice negative entry after negative entry, step back and assess what the common themes are that keep upsetting you. Maybe you're not making money on your regular shift. The customers, staff or other dancers may be bringing you down. You're flat out overworking yourself with little to no "me time". The list of reasons goes on and on and is unique to each dancer. Finding your triggers will help you figure out specific ways to target each one and formulate a plan to combat the issues at hand.

Be kind to yourself. Remember, your value is not in the money you make. You are valuable, lovable, and worthy no matter how much cash you're taking home. In this day and age, we tend to equate value with how we look, how much we make and or how much we work. That simply isn't realistic or healthy though. Try not to beat yourself up if you're having a rough week and not hitting all of your goals. So many variables factor into our nightly take-home. So, keep in mind that while your hustle is a big part of how well you do at the club, it's not the only part by a long shot.

Do things that feed your soul, whatever those things may be. Here are some things I've come up with that I enjoy doing when I need time to practice self-care: a relaxing Epsom salt/bath bomb bath, taking a nature walk, painting, reading and writing, scrapbooking, knitting, origami, getting a massage, spending time with friends or family in person, doing a puzzle, sudoku, word searches and coloring books. A variety of simple hobbies to choose from can be very refreshing when we start to experience burnout. Try to keep the things you're doing non-work related. Focus on untying your mind from the club and tapping into something else.

There are few things about the club that burn me out as fast as constantly having my boundaries pushed. Make sure you are setting clear expectations and boundaries with every customer before you begin any kind of dance, VIP, champagne room, etc. Don't be afraid to end a dance or suite early if a customer is not adhering to the guidelines you've set out for them. Also, if your boundaries end up changing, that's totally okay! Some of us will find that we are uncomfortable with certain things once we've tried them. Don't worry about "upsetting a customer". Plenty of people out there will pay you what you're asking and follow the rules - and if they don't want to, they're not worth your time anyway! The most important thing here is that you feel comfortable and safe at work!

Cleanse your mind and body after work, every shift. How ever you do this is fine: prayer, meditation, breathwork, listening to your favorite music... whatever it is that helps you decompress and clear your head -do it. Shower or take a bath, whichever you prefer, before ending your night and going to bed. Getting the energy and dirt of the club off of you is extremely important and helpful so you're not carrying around the emotional weight and also the general grime with you afterwards. Another thing I have seen a lot of strippers do is carrying around a special crystal that they can touch and hold throughout their shift that helps them cleanse and recenter themselves. Many types of crystals can be good for grounding and cleansing. Take a trip to your local metaphysical/crystal shop and see which ones speak to you. Alternatively, searching online for a specific crystal will work, too. Not everyone will be super close to a crystal or metaphysical store, unfortunately!

If you are noticing a downward trend in earnings, before you just pile more hours onto your regular shift, try working a completely different time slot altogether. For instance, I was literally losing money working dayshift even though it had previously been very profitable. Instead of working longer days, I decided to start sleeping later and coming in for the evening into night shifts. Even though we are currently in a recession, I have noticed increased profit by switching up my shift times. This helps me not only financially, but mentally and emotionally. I'm not nearly as irritated and stressed when I go into work, and I leave work without feeling extremely defeated and hopeless. Trying a different shift with positive results has decreased how burnt out I am currently feeling exponentially! In addition, try to find a schedule that works well for you and allows you enough time to decompress and recharge from the club. I know very few dancers who can work 5+ days a week and 8+ hours a day. This job is great for the fact that we enjoy a very lax and open schedule. Try out different hour slots, days and max hours. Maybe working 3 days a week at 10 hours a day is best for you. Maybe you thrive on 4 days at 6 hours a day. My point is, play around with it - nobodies schedule needs to be the same as anyone else's!

Along that same line, try a different club if your current one just isn't doing it for you anymore. As I have said in previous blogs, sometimes you just flat out need a change of scenery for whatever reason. If this sounds relatable, don't feel bad and don't be scared - just put yourself out there at a new place and try your best! Sometimes a home club can start to feel suffocating or too comfortable. When at my home club I was losing money rapidly, feeling burnt out and angry, and genuinely dreading going in, I knew it was time to give another club a shot. Although I am now traveling a bit farther, I have found my motivation and joy again, and that is what's most important for me. 

Maintaining healthy habits and relationships outside of work is a great way to avoid and combat burnout. It can be tempting to eat junk food and isolate when you're already not feeling great. Building healthy eating, drinking and exercise habits and practicing them regularly will not only help you avoid burnout, but it can also make burnout feel less severe when it does hit. When your body and mind are in good working order, it isn't as daunting and exhausting to handle bouts of sadness, stress, and anxiety. In addition, making sure you have a good support network outside of the club is crucial. Whether its friends, family, a therapist or all three - please remember to nurture the relationships that nurture you. When I got into therapy and started getting intentional about who I became friends with, I noticed a huge change in my overall mood and my ability to handle stressors and anxiety. With my positive relationships and therapy, I feel much more grounded and supported; little things are not as devastating and worrisome as they once seemed. Remember to take inventory of how your relationships are affecting you. Access to you is a gift, not a right. If a connection in your life is ultimately making you feel worse overall, time to really rethink keeping it around. This job is hard enough emotionally inside the club - no need to make outside an exhausting challenge, too when you can just walk away. 

Do you have any particular activities that you like to partake in when you feel burnout coming on? If you've tried anything on this list, feel free to share your experiences in the comments and let me know what was most helpful to you! I know this blog entry is long, but I really wanted to cover as many tips as I could to help anyone experiencing stripper burnout. If you have questions about a specific situation that is burning you out, feel free to reach out in the comments, I'd love to help if I can!